


The Ballad of the Flying Octopi

by Ladytalon



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Frenemies, Friends With Benefits, Not Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 18:04:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8220082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladytalon/pseuds/Ladytalon
Summary: This has got to be the worst arrangement ever but, hey; they both get what they want.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this ages ago for one of the Porn Battles back when they were still going strong, and completely forgot that I hadn't posted this anywhere else.

It has to be the biggest surprise of her life that she’s here, doing this, and with _him_. 

He’s the bad habit she just can’t seem to shake. Other people smoke, or do drugs… she does a supervillain more than twice her age. It’s stupid, and a little dangerous, and did she mention _stupid?_ Mia has no idea how the man spends his spare time (and she doesn’t really _want_ to know) but when he’s not in prison and she wants to get laid, he drags himself from whatever he’s doing and obliges her. Sometimes it’s rough and sometimes it’s not, but they both get what they want and isn’t that what it’s all about anyway? Their…interactions… don’t color what Light likes to call their ‘working relationship’ – both of them still do their best to hospitalize each other every chance they get, and never let on that they’ve recently seen each other’s o-face.

Tonight they’re fucking in mid-air because he’s sussed out that it would make her uncomfortable, and she’s still pissed despite how good the sex is. “Don’t drop me,” Mia reminds him for what has to be the millionth time.

He laughs and reaches a hand back to rearrange her legs around his hips while she hangs on for dear life. “After all we’ve been through, you still don’t trust me?”

Light would probably let his own mother plummet to her death if it suited him, but Mia doesn’t say so because he’s just found an angle that she really _really_ likes. “Oh, right there; _Je_ sus…!” He thrusts into her and it’s so good, she nearly forgets that they’re up high enough to be in the flight path of a 747. It gives her scant piece of mind that he’s strong enough to hold her up and he _probably_ wouldn’t let her fall because he hasn’t come yet. His fingers dig into her ass and move her up and down his cock, muttering something under his breath. “Wh...what?”

“Ease up, will you? You’ve got to relax,” Light tells her. “Let go of my neck.”

“What? No way,” Mia argues. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not wearing a goddamned parachute!”

He sighs irritably. “You’re perfectly safe, and I need you to let go of my neck. It feels like I’m trying to fuck a hyper-caffeinated octopus.”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience, and I am _not_ letting go.”

Light smiles suddenly, and in a way she doesn’t like at all. “Fine.” And without any warning whatsoever, he _tilts_ them so that she’s flat on her back with San Francisco Bay directly beneath her. A moment later, Mia feels the light particles in the air coalesce to make a firm surface supporting her weight.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You brought me all the way up here for the _missionary position?_ ” she hisses.

He reaches between them and shoves his cock back inside her with a soft grunt. “I actually brought you all the way up here for anal, but if you would kindly remember the octopus analogy…” Light pauses to look down at her. “You should have told me you were afraid of heights,” he says.

She lets go very, very slowly. “I’m not afraid of heights.”

“The sooner you shut up and get off, the sooner you can get down.”

All the worrying over plunging god knows how many feet through the air has made her sex drive shift into Neutral, but thankfully Arthur Light puts more work into having casual sex than he does in staying out of jail. It’s not long before he has her so stirred up, Mia doesn’t even care where she is; Light pounds her into an orgasm before working on his own, pulling out and peeling off both condoms with a well-practiced movement. His skin warms as he comes on her lower belly and his entire body glows, pulsing to his heartbeat.

She has to wonder what poor soul has had their head decorated by the falling condom, and the thought makes her grin even as she uses her index finger to scrape off the mess on her stomach and flick it down, too. He teleports them back to the rooftop where they’d left their clothing, and they get dressed without speaking. Light leaves his shirt unbuttoned as he digs through his pockets to pull out… “Is that a joint?”

He uses his metagene to light it, and draws in the smoke. “Want some?”

“That’s still illegal,” Mia points out. “I could call the cops on you right now, if I wanted.”

Light looks at her, unimpressed. “I’ve got your DNA all over me right now. Who do you think would come out ahead?”

She takes the joint, and they pass it back and forth for a while until they hear the bells of the nearby church start ringing the hour. He sniffs and begins to button his shirt with a yawn. “Past your bedtime, old man?”

“Got a date,” Light says, shaking his head when Mia tries to hand the joint back to him. “Keep it – consider it payment for services rendered, you massive whore.”

“Fuck you,” Mia yawns back. 

“Been there, done that _several_ times.”

“Seriously, go fuck yourself.”

“If I could, I wouldn’t leave the house,” he laughs, standing up and brushing himself off. “You’re not _jealous_ , are you, Dearden?”

Mia yawns again. “That’ll be the day. Who’s the unlucky lady, or is it a man?”

“Giganta.”

“ _Giganta?_ ” She starts laughing. “Better be careful, or she’ll start ‘putting on weight’ when you least expect it and roll on top of you and that’ll be the end of Doctor Gigolo.”

He’s clearly given no thought to _that_ possible outcome. “Shit, give that back…” he takes the joint back and inhales deeply, holding it for a few seconds before breathing the smoke back out. Light offers it to her, but this time she’s the one shaking her head so he drops it to the concrete and crushes it beneath his boot. “See you.”

“Good luck,” Mia says as he teleports away. This has to have been the friendliest interlude they’ve ever had, and it’s weird as hell; he didn’t attempt to murder her even _once_. “Jealous of Giganta. That’s a good one,” she mutters to herself as she stands up to leave. A sound behind her makes her turn, but there’s nothing there and she’s about to turn back when a hand grasps her ponytail and yanks her off of the ledge.

Her arms and legs thrash wildly in the air as she falls, too shocked to even scream as the ground rushes up to meet her. Mia is only inches away from the street when she jerks to a halt and she sucks air back into her lungs to scream abuse at the asshole who’d dropped her while he stands there and laughs until he cries. “Your _face_ , you should have seen…! Oh, wait…here…” Light cups his hands and does an instant replay for her, still roaring with laughter.

“I fucking _hate_ you, you _asshole!_ ”

Light paws at the air in imitation of her headlong plunge to earth and turns to stagger away, still laughing and wiping at his eyes. Mia watches him go, then reaches down to pick up one of the rocks surrounding the decorative trees planted along the sidewalk – she bounces it off of the back of his head and flips him off when he turns to look at her.

One of these days, she'll have to start telling him no.


End file.
